Self-forgiveness Statements:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that i am going against my will - within spite - defining myself within the 'spiteful' character - when i wrote down as a reason ' The merging will facilitate administration of the group' as i was told that this is the reason why we are merging' - and as i forgive myself that instead of stopping the spite within and as myself within the moment i allowed myself to write these words in spite as i did not allow myself to look at the point effectively and see the commonsense within closing a Facebook group - But instead i wanted 'my groups' to remain open as i had invested so much time in them-
Yet justified my self-righteousness by saying that 'i know taking responsibility is about stopping something that is 'getting bigger' to do what it takes to be there to administer when needed - doubting myself at this point -defining myself within the 'i doubt that i am doing the right thing' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify my participation in blame - within self-righteousness - by believing that the reason for dissolving the group is based from an idea of what effective means - defining myself within the 'i believe this is not right' character
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not take self-responsibility in redefining words - where i suggested to look at redefining the words 'effective', 'participate' etc. - where i am not taking self-responsibility as who i am here - rather, asking someone separate from me to take self- responsibility in my behalf - defining myself within the 'they should take responsibility' character
and through this i forgive myself that i did not take the time to understand what the word 'effective' means or participate means in relation to running a Facebook group but instead accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my experience that they are 'taking away' what i had claimed to be 'mine'
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea of when groups should be dissolved and why according to Scientology theories - which is when it does not have members and it is not contributing to the good of the organization which is the product of the whole organization - which is profit - that i believed is true as when i was working with them before and when every product of each department in the organization is equated to more people and more money for the organization - where we at that time had a safety department that is handling the safety department - which position or person in charge's duty is to safeguard the safety of the organization while the public relations people do their job of promoting the organization by creating venues where people can join the organization - which i likened to groups - being public relations groups - which i applied and found that it worked for me and which makes sense from the point of 'logic' - defining myself within the 'Scientology logic' character and
thus did not accept and allow what it means when i keep a group open, when it is effectively administered - which i justified within blame and righteousness that it is right because i applied it before
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the people making the decisions are deciding from a mind character point not applying the process in this endeavor separate from me - judging them as less than me and me more than myself - defining myself within the 'belief i know and they don't' character not seeing and realizing that i am the one who is acting from a 'mind character' as i had created an emotional attachment to the groups and i am unwilling to let go - even when faced by the practicality of seeing that the participation within the group is not effective - as i through the 'Scientology logic' character - believed within blame - self-righteousness and justifying me as a character - that the public relations function which is the lifeblood of the organization - having people come in and do intoductory courses from that department which will then contribute to the product of the organization - which i was told is money and profit in the long term - not seeing and realising that i am the one who is acting from a 'mind character' as i had created an emotional attachment to the groups and i am unwilling to let go - even when i am faced by the practicality of seeing that the participation within the group is not effective
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the ones deciding are deciding from a point of separation and judging me as not wanting to dissolve the group - and getting stuck in that point - believing that they cannot see what i am saying and what it means to delete 50 members including members of my group who are not even asking me to be deleted from the group - defining me within the 'belief i have experienced it and they haven't' character - where i judged them as less than me - defined by experience within an organization applying the principles that i believe and seeing they worked - so seeing me as more than them - by virtue of my experience in applying the principles of Scientology - which i believed was superior because all department products and division products collectively contribute to the product of the organization as a whole
Through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the ones making the decision as a mind character thinking they know what they are doing when they have not cleared the words they speak - yet speak as if they really know what they are talking about - defining myself as the 'they are wrong' character - judging the ones who do not redefine words as less than myself and me as more than myself as i have redefined words - not seeing realizing and understanding that i have not fully lived my words - defining myself within the 'i am righteous' character
- within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to specialize my group outside Fb and judge them as more than myself - where the fear of them being upset when i say something came from - and believe that they are the givers of true information and judge the members of the group that do not belong to my group as receiver of true information - defining myself within the 'we are the saviour of this world' character.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within believing i know how organizations work i am superior to those who do not know how organizations work in a way that all products align to the overall product of the whole organization - defining myself within the 'i know about organizations' character - where within that presumption i become blind to what is here - in self-dishonesty - blurring reality which is from a desire of not creating conflict - defining myself withing the ' i fear conflict - so desire to not create conflict' character - so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hope that someone will agree with me - defining myself within the 'hope' character - and within that fear that they will not agree with me - defining myself within 'fear of disagreement' character - where then i doubt myself - defining myself within the 'doubt' character - wanting to understand what is going on - trusting the mind within logic - defining myself within the 'i trust Scientology logic - because it worked for me- knowlege' character - where when all else fail logic saved me - defining myself within the 'logic is my savior - save face - inferior' character - where this logic that i have under my sleeves defines me - as superior to others - defining myself within the 'superior because of Scientology knowledge - knowledge' character - blamiing the people i work with - and hoping that the information i have and acknowleged as true - they will embrace and acknowledge as when they do - i will emerge as a winner - defining myself within the 'i am the winner - judge' character - where i am always right - instead of directing self effectively in what self is seeing in that moment.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that merging the group with another group is a change in the name and it does not do anything - judging the decision to merge as 'wrong' - defining myself within the 'i am right' character and having a starting point based on a desire –
And i forgive myself that i did not see, realise and understand that it is my desire of wanting to keep the group that is saying 'i am right' - so that i will have different characters supporting me to exist as a mind character - trying to find all the justifications for why i should not close the group instead of allowing myself to look at the consequential outflowsof what it means to keep a group open that is not being directed effectively.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the decision made by those making it is careless - defining myself within the 'careless' character- believing i will have to be part of the consequence in this decision because i have to go through the process of deleting all these members - defining myself within the 'i don't want consequence' character believing they themselves were not given a choice - defining myself within the 'i believe they have a choice ' character believing that the decision to merge the group, the choice was made by a few in their behalf -believing that this is just satisfying their desire based on self-interest - defining myself within the 'you're evil and i am a saint' character and within that judge the decision as 'wrong' and the decision makers are doing it from the starting point of self-interest - within blame and self-righteousness - defining myself within the ' the people has a choice - i am good ' character as i believed that they have not asked the people - defining myself within the 'i make right decisions and your decision is wrong' character - within blame - defining myself within the 'i am right and you're wrong - blame' character - where i abdicate my self-responsibility in the consequences of my own actions
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when someone from the group email me in private and not within what i suggested as a group email - that that someone is hiding something - defining myself within the 'hiding' character - where within this i am blaming the group member- defining myself within the 'you're hiding- blame' charcter
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within this interaction with members of my group in closing the Fb group - as in the decision makers - i will be able to see how it is to interact with others doing the process - in separation - defining myself within the 'observer' character - within blame
